"I agree with Mary Bennet," said no Jane Austen
reader ever but I am going to say it just this once. Elizabeth may have been
the spunky heroine that girls relate to but Mary had her own wisdom to impart.
"I think a ball is a completely irrational way of making new acquaintance.
It would be better if conversation, rather than dancing, were the order of the
day." Lest my dancer friends spurn me at this juncture, let me say I am
not against dancing as a rule - I find it both meaningful in its artistic
expression and effective in its ability to generate chemistry between men and
women. But that is not my topic today or in the coming weeks. I want to start a
conversation about the value of conversation.
If you were to ask me what I look for in friends or men I
date, good conversation would top my list. Which makes me sound very old
fashioned. Which I'm fine with. In this, I will keep company with Mary - maybe
after some good conversation I may succeed in making her smile.
My favorite people are those who I've enjoyed couch
conversations with or long cross-country drives. Life is at its fullest in
these moments. Every conversation is a unique expression of who we are and how
our experiences and perspectives relate to the other people in the
conversation. Dialogue is a two-way street - I contribute and I receive. And I
am known.
On a recent business trip to Nashville, I ventured out to a
highly-rated restaurant, Husk. Not wanting to monopolize an entire table, I found
a seat at the bar next to a middle-aged woman, also dining solo. After an hour
of divine Southern cuisine and libations prepared by our blur-of-a-bartender,
we were no longer strangers. Our conversation ran toward the venturing of grown
children into new cities and career paths. We talked about California's water
problems and trends in online dating. I found some NPR stories I'd been
listening to made for quality drop-ins.