Thursday, October 16, 2014

Conversations: Strangers and Blind Dates

"I agree with Mary Bennet," said no Jane Austen reader ever but I am going to say it just this once. Elizabeth may have been the spunky heroine that girls relate to but Mary had her own wisdom to impart. "I think a ball is a completely irrational way of making new acquaintance. It would be better if conversation, rather than dancing, were the order of the day." Lest my dancer friends spurn me at this juncture, let me say I am not against dancing as a rule - I find it both meaningful in its artistic expression and effective in its ability to generate chemistry between men and women. But that is not my topic today or in the coming weeks. I want to start a conversation about the value of conversation.

If you were to ask me what I look for in friends or men I date, good conversation would top my list. Which makes me sound very old fashioned. Which I'm fine with. In this, I will keep company with Mary - maybe after some good conversation I may succeed in making her smile.

My favorite people are those who I've enjoyed couch conversations with or long cross-country drives. Life is at its fullest in these moments. Every conversation is a unique expression of who we are and how our experiences and perspectives relate to the other people in the conversation. Dialogue is a two-way street - I contribute and I receive. And I am known.


On a recent business trip to Nashville, I ventured out to a highly-rated restaurant, Husk. Not wanting to monopolize an entire table, I found a seat at the bar next to a middle-aged woman, also dining solo. After an hour of divine Southern cuisine and libations prepared by our blur-of-a-bartender, we were no longer strangers. Our conversation ran toward the venturing of grown children into new cities and career paths. We talked about California's water problems and trends in online dating. I found some NPR stories I'd been listening to made for quality drop-ins.

A colleague recently set me up on a blind date in the truest sense of the term. Prior to our first meeting, no pictures were exchanged, no voices heard, and no extensive history swapped. Our friend gave him my number. We texted. We set a time to meet. I considered putting a rose and a copy of Pride & Prejudice on the table but not knowing if his taste in movies ran to 90s rom-com, I refrained. We succeeded in finding each other after the motion of "looking around intentionally" matched up.

Over that first cup of Portola coffee, we covered a lot of ground. I have a favorite question I like to bring up on first dates - I ask him to tell me about his best friend. From there we talked about the churches we had grown up in, our perspectives on our college years, where life had and hadn't taken us since. I left still having no idea what his taste in movies and music ran to. Which didn't matter because in the course of the conversation I got a good glimpse of his sense of identity, his motivations, and the way he relates to the people in his life. I consider that a successful first date.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that conversation and food pair well together. Whether it's a cup of coffee or a meal around the table, the activity of eating/drinking creates natural time and space for conversation to happen. Space for strangers to become friends and blind dates to become second dates. In that spirit, I will continue sharing some of my favorite recipes while we're talking about conversations. This one plays well as a solo appetizer or as part of a tapas spread. Unless you have vegetarians at the table, I've not found a person I can't please with Bacon-Wrapped Dates!


Bacon-Wrapped Dates
Ingredients
Container of pre-pitted dates (unless you want the task of pulling the pit out yourself)
Package of bacon (not turkey bacon, trust me)
Container of blue cheese or goat cheese, optional (this dish is great without cheese, just depends if you want to kick it up a notch)
Box of toothpicks

Instructions
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
Cut the bacon slices into thirds.
If you want to use cheese, slice the date open and insert a small amount into the date.
Wrap the date in a piece of bacon, spear it with a toothpick and set it on a foil-lined cookie sheet.
Bake for 20-25 minutes or until well browned and crispy. Transfer to a paper-towel covered plate to drain grease.

Serve warm or at room temperature.



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